I’m on vacation visiting my brothers this week, so this is just going to be a short fun article today. It gives me a chance to reminisce for just a moment. When I was single, I always paid when I went out on dates. If the girl wants to split the bill, I usually just said, “why don’t you pay next time” or “let’s get a drink and you can pay.” (Mrs. RB40 asked – was there ever a next time?) Occasionally we’d split the bill. I still think the guy should pay, but splitting is all right with me, too. I just wanted to get the who pay when going out on a date question out of the way. Today, I actually want to talk about who pays for dinner when I am out with my brothers or my buddies.
I’m the oldest one in my family and a little bit ahead of my 2 brothers financially. Of course, when I was working and they were still in school, I always paid. Once they started working, I still tried to pay most of the time because I was in a better financial position. Today, this is a bit more difficult to answer.
We are still comfortable financially, but we also had a 60% reduction in income after I quit my job. We are still ahead in net worth, but they will probably surpass us at some point as long as they keep working in their current fields (medicine and engineering). We’ll just focus on one of my brothers’ family below.
- Net worth: Our net worth is about 3x his family’s net worth.
- Income: They make about 3x our income.
- Kids: We each have one child, both under the age of 3.
Both our families are doing fine at the moment, so it doesn’t really matter who pays for dinner. We don’t see each other that often, but when we do, it is for more than a few days. When we go out, we typically eat at family style restaurants and have a great time trying out different ethnic foods. Take my poll or response with a comment below.
Sorry! I’m not sure what happened, but it wants you to log on to vote. WordPress just updated so there might be some new issue. You’ll just have to comment below…
(poll removed for now.)
- Guy with higher net worth pays
- Guy with higher income pays
- The host since visitor already paid for travel cost
- Takes turn
- Just split it!
- Pay your own share! (Some people order expensive stuff…)
- Whoever is faster with the draw.
This also applies for friends. Most of my friends are doing well financially, but a few are still struggling. Usually I’ll try to pay if I know they are not quite as well off as we are. Depending on how many of us there are (especially if we bring the spouses and kids), sometimes we pay for what we order and take care of appetizers and the tip.
On the other hand, now that I am not working for the man anymore, money is very reluctant to leave the comfort of my wallet. If my hard working friends want to pay for a meal, I wouldn’t say no.
What do you do when you go out with friends?
Best response so far -
I have the opposite problem. I have a brother-in-law who NEVER pays. I come from a family where every one takes turns paying. But whenever we go out, it’s always my parents or my family fighting for the bill, never him. In the 10 yrs he’s been in the family, I’ve probably paid for him over 100 times. He has paid for me exactly once (a $10 amount). I finally got tired of being the generous sucker and last year decided never to pay for him again. Also, we make approx. the same income, only difference is I have 6 figures of student loan debt and he has none. I do blame my sister for not making him follow this Asian custom (he’s white and married into an Asian family, but he is smart enough to know this custom, come on, it’s been 10 yrs of him getting free meals!). My sister will pay when she’s by herself with us, but never when he’s with us (she’s messed up too). Since he won’t learn our ways, I will learn his way and never pay for him. He’s the type to ask you to pick something up from the drugstore for him and then never pay you back for it (even if it costs $20). I never ask favors from him. If we go out for dinner altogether, I will pay for my parents’ portion, but not for his. I am sick of this cheap bast@rd and his SH#T.
Heh heh, thanks for the chuckle.
Photo credit: Pop Culture Geek